Striders Don't Cry
by homestuckAssemble
Summary: One Shot in which Striders Do Not Cry /Shitty summary is shitty. Enjoy ! /


/Hey, I'm not dead! 8D I've had this little tidbit of a one shot for a while ((AKA A LONG FUCKING TIME)) and decided to finish it up. I do *NOT* own Homestuck and all quoted chat logs located within the story belong solely to Andrew Hussie!/

Your name is Dave Strider. For years you've been told nothing can stop a Strider. And only now, have you been proved wrong.

You sigh and run your hand through your golden hair as you stare down at the lifeless body of your Bro. You had always known this day would come, but you never wanted it to.

You shake your head at the katana stabbed through his torso. Killed with his own blade, what an ironic and shitty way to die. The scattered orange feathers and orange goo tell you that Davesprite had been here too and had escaped, but not without some injuries of his own. This was such a mess. For a split second you consider going back in Bro's timeline to fix this, to repair whatever he'd done to get killed, but you immediately dismiss the thought. Doing that would just doom more timelines and off shoot versions of yourself would just start piling up again and that was the last thing anyone needed: more dead Dave's.

You suppose this was probably for the best, but that doesn't mean you like it. Not at all. Bro Strider was your brother, maybe even father figure, and seeing him so utterly defeated sent chills through your body.

- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -  
GC: D4V3  
GC: 1 KNOW YOUR3 UPS3T 4BOUT YOUR M4N-LUSUS, 1 WOULD B3 TOO, BUT SHOULD YOU R34LLY JUST B3 ST4ND1NG TH3R3?  
TG: yes i should  
TG: and dont say man-lusus  
TG: thats kinda creepy  
TG: like hes not just some ordinary dude  
TG: bro was pretty special to me tz  
TG: in a completely non ironic way  
GC: Y34H BUT ST1LL  
GC: ...D4V3 4R3 YOU CRY1NG?  
GC: DO 1 SM3LL T34RS OF 1RONY? :]  
TG: no  
TG: im not crying  
TG: striders dont cry  
GC: WH4T333333VER!

You take a break from talking to Terezi and stare blankly at the katana impaled through Bro's body. You can't just leave it there, that would be a disgrace to your brother. But you can't just pull it out either, that would be really messy and gross.

GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU TH1NK1NG 4BOUT?  
GC: 1 KNOW 1M TH3 S33R OF M1ND BUT 1 C4NT L1T3R4LLY R34D YOUR M1ND  
TG: im trying to figure out how to get the katana out of bro  
GC: WHY? :?  
TG: i cant just leave it there  
TG: thats like  
TG: dropping a spoonful of pudding on the ground  
TG: and just leaving it there  
TG: its so disrespectful to leave perfectly good pudding on the ground  
TG: throw that shit away like a respectful human being  
GC: BUT 1M NOT HUM4N  
TG: come on tz im trying to be sentimental here  
TG: youre completely killing it  
GC: W3LL 1 4M SORRY FOR NOT B31NG 4BL3 TO R3L4T3 TO YOUR HUM4N F33L1NGS  
GC: BUT 1N 4LL S3R1OUSN3SS, YOU DONT H4V3 MUCH T1M3  
TG: i know that  
TG: if anyone should be able to talk about time its me  
TG: i just have to figure out how i can get this out if him  
TG: i wonder if

You stop typing as an idea comes to your mind. You could try to kick it out of him. That should work. Deciding to go with that, you take several steps backwards, preparing yourself for this fucking acrobatic pirouette off of Bro's shitty sword.

GC: D4V3  
GC: 1 C4N S33 WH4T YOUR3 GO1NG TO TRY  
GC: 1T WONT WORK  
TG: oh it will fucking work  
TG: listen  
TG: i have to get the sword out of bro  
TG: if that swords coming out of his chest its coming out clean  
TG: taking it vertically means drawing more blood  
TG: but horizontally means a clean break  
GC: 1T WONT WORK D4V3 :[  
TG: it will watch

You take a moment and stop pestering Terezi to do contemplate the possible outcomes of your decision. Seeing no way this could possibly fail, you start running towards the impaled body, jumping just in time to land on the hilt of the sword.

TG: fucking told you

Just as your message sent, you feel yourself being projected back into the air. Next thing you know, you're laying face first on the ground in a pile of dirt and self pity.

GC: D4V3 G3T UP  
TG: no fuck that  
TG: im a lie my ass right down here for a while looking slightly less cool than i make myself out to be ordinarily  
GC: YOU MUST ST4ND T4LL, ONLY 4 TRU3 H3RO COULD PULL OFF SUCH 4N 4CROB4T1C FUCK1NG P1ROU3TT3 OFF OF TH4T H4NDL3 :]  
TG: that is basically what i just did isnt it  
GC: Y3S  
TG: thats what im doing here im making a point of makin every little thing take place what was once mentioned in passing no matter how seemingly trivial or pointless  
TG: you havent heard me bleat like a goat for ironically humorous purposes yet have you  
GC: NO! :O  
TG: i bet you are on goddamn pins and needles waiting for that arent you  
GC: 4R3 YOU 4BOUT TO BL34T L1K3 4N 34RTH GO4T, D4V3?  
TG: no  
TG: fuck that  
GC: TH3N W1LL YOU 4T L34ST G3T UP?  
TG: no  
TG: fuck you  
TG: go away  
GC: 4UGH  
GC: WHY DO 1 DO TH1S TO MYS3LF  
TG: what  
GC: SUBJ3CT MYS3LF TO TH3 MOODY NONS3NS3 OF CURMUDG3ONLY C4NDY BLOOD3D FOULMOUTHS!  
TG: i dunno

You two then proceed to have a string of pointless conversations, all the while your Bro's shitty sword still remains imprisoned in his chest.


End file.
